Raising Kids Is Getting Expensive

The Inflation of Life - Cost of Raising a Child Has Soared

Your little bundle of joy is going to require a wad of cash.

The cost of raising a child from birth to age 17 has surged 25 percent over the last 10 years, due largely to the rising cost of groceries and medical care, according to the Department of Agriculture, which tracks annual expenditures on children by families.

The government's most recent annual report reveals a middle-income family with a child born in 2010 can expect to spend roughly $227,000 for food, shelter and other expenses necessary to raise that child - $287,000 when you factor in projected inflation.

And, no, the bill does not include the cost of college or anything related to the pregnancy and delivery.

"If you sat down to tally up the total cost of having children, you'd never have them," says Timothy Knotts, a father of four and a certified financial planner with The Hogan-Knotts Financial Group in Red Bank N.J. "It's a very expensive adventure."

Talk about a life-changing event. That's a lot of vacations, clothing, and restaurant dinners you may no longer enjoy.

Plan Early

Ultimately, of course, the decision on whether or not to expand your family has little to do with dollar signs.

For most prospective parents, kids are the central priority around which all other lifestyle decisions get made - career moves, housing choices, where to live.

Because of its financial impact, however, it's wise to begin planning for parenthood as early as possible, says Matthew Saneholtz, a certified financial adviser with Tobias Financial Advisors in Plantation, Fla.

"You don't want to get too hung up on whether you're ready financially, because no one is ever really ready and it works out in the end, but you do want to think about how you see that first year with a new baby," he says.

Among the first issues you'll want to address:

Will you both return to work or will one of you quit to care for the child?
Does your employer offer maternity or paternity benefits?
Are you going to need a bigger car?
How much will your health insurance premiums climb after baby makes three?

You won't necessarily have control over the process, but you should also discuss how many children you'd like to have and when you'd like to have them, as that affects the timeline for getting your financial house in order.

Ideally, says Saneholtz, you should pay off your credit cards and put retirement savings on autopilot before you welcome a baby.

The four-bedroom house with a fully equipped nursery can wait.

Couples should resist the urge to splurge on a house at the top of their dual-income budget, says Knotts, since you may change your mind about whether or not to return to the office after the baby arrives.

"Our advice to clients is any time there's a life changing event, be it a baby or your own retirement, don't make any huge changes," he says. "Take your time. Do you want to be in a different school district, or closer to relatives or work? There's a lot to think about."

Testing 1-2-3

Prudent parents-to-be should also practice living on less before the big day arrives, says Chuck Donalies, a certified financial planner with Investment Planning Associates in Rockville, Md.

"Review all your expenses and cut out what you can," he says. "Almost every household budget has some fat in it."

Keep in mind that your annual medical expenses will almost certainly rise after you bring your newborn home.

Mark Lino, a USDA economist, notes that healthcare costs for the average family have increased 58 percent over the last decade, faster than any other expense component in the survey.

"With kids in particular, you're going to have emergencies, and while you might go without for yourself, you're going to take your kids to the doctor when they have a fever," says Knotts. "Someone's going to break an arm or knock out a tooth, and that could cost you a few hundred or thousand dollars each time."

As a starting point, Knotts suggests living on 90 percent of your after-tax income, using the money you save to fund an emergency account worth three to six months of living expenses.

If one of you plans to quit work to care for the child, your new spending plan should reflect the projected loss of income.

You can also apply those dollars toward a life insurance policy after the baby comes along, says Donalies, providing protection for your little one (and your spouse) in the event something happens to the breadwinner.

Donalies recommends a term life policy that covers your family until well after your child is out of college.

"The cost of a term life policy is so low that you should have a policy until your child reaches age 30," he says.

Ka-ching: Child Care

If you both plan to continue working, and you don't have family willing to provide free labor, you'll have to factor child care costs into your budget.

Such costs vary by region, as does the type of care provided, but the average annual price tag for full-time care in 2010 for an infant in a child care center ranged from $4,650 in Mississippi to $18,200 in the District of Columbia, the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies reports.

The average annual cost for full-time care of a 4-year old drops to $3,900 in Mississippi to $14,050 in the District of Columbia.

Nannies are more expensive still.

According to the International Nanny Association, nannies who live outside your home can cost more than $3,000 per month for full-time care, and as an employer you'll be required to pay their Social Security taxes.

Ka-ching: College Tuition

There's no rule that says you have to help your child with college expenses, of course, but if you plan to do so, you'd better start budgeting for that as well.

The average cost of a four-year college for in-state residents, including tuition, fees, room and board, climbed 6 percent for the 2011 and 2012 academic year, averaging $17,131, the College Board reports.

A public four-year school for out-of-state students cost an average $29,657 this year, while four-year private colleges cost more than $38,000 per year.

Knotts cautions parents, however, to save for retirement first before throwing money into a tax-advantaged 529 college savings plan. After all, there are no scholarships or loans for retirement.

Manage Money and Expectations

Finally, remember that it's ultimately you who decides how much you're willing to spend on your kids.

Families with higher incomes, for example, tend to spend more on discretionary expenses like Apple (AAPL - News) iPods and Decker Outdoor's Uggs - things your child may want, but doesn't need.

The USDA report shows that a family earning less than $57,600 per year can expect to spend a total of $163,440 on a child from birth through high school; parents with an income between $57,600 and $99,730 can expect to spend $226,920; and families earning more than $99,730 can expect to drop $377,040.

"Kids don't have to have all this stuff," says Knotts. "We are a generation where we feel like we need to give our kids all of these experiences, but you can do a lot with your kids without spending a lot of money."

Children may be a blessing, but they don't come cheap. Families that plan ahead not only have better control over their budgets, but are often able to do more with less. They're also better positioned to ensure their own financial goals don't get derailed along the way.

Tricks for Getting Sleep in the Newborn Months

BabyCenter moms tell you all their tricks for squeezing in more zzzzs during those crazy newborn months:

"In the morning, stay in your PJs and keep going back to bed until you get enough sleep - even if that means you don't get up until noon!"

"My husband and I slept in shifts. After feeding the baby around 10 p.m., I went to sleep and my husband stayed up and put him to bed. Since I was breastfeeding, I was the one who needed to get up at 2 or 4 a.m. to feed him, so my husband slept through that. I felt better with that extra two hours I got early in the night."

"Sleep when the baby sleeps except for one nap. Use that time to do dishes and laundry."

"Buy a baby swing. They are wonderful for those late nights when your baby is either crying or won't sleep. Strap her in and you know she's safe — then you can catch some zz's on the couch next to her."

"Once I made up my mind that I wasn't going to get any sleep that night, it made it easier to cope. It was when I obsessed about getting sleep that I had problems dealing with the lack of sleep."

"If your partner's habits (restlessness, snoring) keep you from sleeping, ask him to sleep somewhere else for awhile."

"Don't wait until nighttime to catch up on sleep, because that's when your baby wants to be up. I slept at least once during the day when my baby napped, and that made all the difference between being a nice mommy and a mean mommy."

"The first four nights were the hardest, getting up every two hours to go into another room to feed the baby, hoping she wouldn't wake when I laid her down. The fifth night, I took her to bed with me, and we both slept like a dream. Now I enjoy eight hours of sleep a night."

Baby sleep: Seven tips
Seven great tips from parents and experts for getting your baby to sleep.

"Have a lot of pillows for comfort — even if you don't get a lot of sleep, it feels good."

"Don't worry about getting the dishes done or cooking dinner. I lost out on so much sleep because I was trying to keep my house together, and by the time I was ready to lie down, guess who was awake."

"Get someone else to watch the baby while you nap, even if you have to pay a babysitter."

"I've learned after three children not to worry too much if my baby doesn't want to eat every three hours. If her last feeding was at 11 p.m. and she sleeps until 4 a.m., then the best thing to do is enjoy the sleep while you can."

"When all else fails, put a blanket (not a comforter, but a flat blanket) on the floor and lie down with your baby. You will get some sleep — maybe not the most comfortable sleep, but sleep nonetheless."

"My husband gets up with the baby first, changing her and comforting her, which gives me time to prepare for breastfeeding (waking up a little, using the restroom, and getting a glass of water). He has been a great help!"

"Catnapping works wonders for new moms. Set an alarm for 15 or 20 minutes. You'll be surprised how much it helps to close your eyes for even a short period of time."

"At night, put the baby down in a separate room and turn the monitor low enough so you can hear a cry but not grunts and whines."

"My nurse advised me to take six-hour shifts with my husband. That way, each of us got some solid sleep. Once we started doing that, we both felt better."

"You know how they always tell you "Sleep when your baby sleeps"? Well, I tried, but I was so overtired and anxious about being a new mother that I couldn't sleep! My doctor prescribed a sleeping pill, and it really helped me get the rest I needed."

For me:
For baby #1, I needed to turn the monitor down because he grunted and made a lot of noise, waking me up every 10 minutes. The car seat was a great place for him too because he would feel snuggled and I sometimes got 3-4 hours of sleep in a row.
For baby #2, the car seat and swing were great in getting me consistent sleep as mentioned before. In the mornings I brought the baby to bed with me to nurse and we would nap for another hour or two. I don't move much when I sleep, so I was comfortable with this arrangement (there is always a concern the parent will squash the baby in their sleep) and it got some extra sleep during those early months. I also started a bedtime routine early on (after 2 weeks of observing what time the baby went down for his deep sleep), and adjusted it as he got older and his needs changed. Once he got use to the routine, I was slowly able to move his bedtime up so by 5 months he was going to bed between 7-8pm like his older brother.

How You Can Sleep In

I think this article may save my life. I've never done well without sleep and this is helping us to deal with our 2 year old, 6am riser. Many baby articles and magazines deal with trying to get your baby to sleep through the night. But what about your toddler that does sleep through the night, they just wake up really early? This article has some great tips.

http://www.parenting.com/article/Mom/Health--Fitness/How-You-Can-Sleep-In

If you have a toddler in the family, like I do, chances are you're woken up way too early every morning, roused by the voice of a tiny child who's burning with energy and hungry to boot. And you probably already know that sound machines, room-darkening shades, and bedtime adjustments won't necessarily solve the problem. Young kids are wired to wake up with the sun.

Step 1: Teach Her About Time

The first things your child needs to learn are when it's okay to get out of bed and when it's okay to come wake you up.

By the numbers Put a digital clock in your child's room, then put masking tape over the minutes (so it's less confusing). Tell her, for example, that she can get out of bed and play quietly in her room once there's a 6 on the clock, but she can't leave the room until there's a 7. Too young to recognize numbers? Draw a picture of the right times on a folded index card and place it next to the clock so she can match them.

To a tune If telling time is too difficult, set an alarm clock to play the radio or your child's favorite CD at, say, 7 a.m., suggests Sarah Hansel, a mom in Eldridge, IA. When her 3-year-old twins wake her too early, she brings them back to their room, saying she'll see them when the music starts. "The first couple of times, they cried," she says, "but we stuck to it, and it only took a few days before they got it."

By the half-light Try putting a dim lamp on a timer, so it won't wake your child if she's sleeping. Or check out the Good Nite Lite (goodnitelite.com; $34.99), a product designed by a dad whose child kept getting up at 5 a.m. It glows like a sun when it's okay to get out of bed and like a moon when it's still nighttime.

Step 2: Keep Him Entertained

Some especially self-reliant children might be able to find ways to amuse themselves, but most will need a little inspiration.

Wake-up-time toys Fill a bin with quiet playthings, such as puzzles and sticker books, and rotate them so there's always something interesting. Explain to your child that these are "special morning toys" that he can play with only before he wakes you up. Then sneak into his room after he's asleep and leave the box waiting for him on the floor.

His own "play" list Make a digital recording of yourself reading your child's favorite stories or singing songs he loves, get an audiobook from the library, or pick up a podcast online. Then show him how to turn on the player himself.

A craft surprise On the weekends, Ridgewood, NJ, mom of four Nicki Bosch puts out the supplies for an easy-to-do craft project. "I tell them that when they wake up, there's going to be a super-secret project in the kitchen for them, and that they can surprise Mommy and Daddy with it once they're done," she says. "They're so excited about it that they go to bed happily the night before, and it affords us at least an extra hour of sleep."

Step 3: Start the Day (Without You)

Since mornings are often hectic anyway, motivate your kid to tackle some getting-ready tasks on her own.

Dressing up Pick out a few outfits that your child can put on herself, and set them out the night before. Tell her she can choose any outfit she wants, but she can't wake you until she's dressed (this will also save you getting-out-the-door time).

Chowing down If your child is usually ravenous when she rises, leave a "wake-up tray" in her room with a bowl of dry cereal and a juice box, as well as an activity to keep her busy.

Invite her in If you try all these strategies and she's still waking up too early, she just may not be ready. Instead, let your child come into your room and play quietly while you doze. Elizabeth Pantley, author of the No-Cry Solution book series, suggests creating a fort in your room by placing a blanket over some furniture, putting a few toys or books inside, and calling it her "morning nest." Got a TV in your room? Turn a fave show on low and let her cuddle up next to you.

And remember, on those days when you're desperate, you can always resort to pure, unadulterated bribery. Once when we knew we were going to have a particularly late night, we told our early-rising 2-year-old we'd give her ice cream for breakfast if she stayed in her room until 7 a.m. It worked!
Is Your Child Ready for Morning "Alone" Time?

Yes if...

* During the day, he can play quietly by himself for 20 to 40 minutes if you're on the computer, making dinner, or taking a shower.

* She understands it's okay to wake you if she gets hurt or something spills, but it's not okay to surprise you by cooking breakfast.

* He's able to wait for things, such as when you tell him he can have dessert in five minutes.

* She can follow multistep directions, and her preschool teacher or other caretaker describes her as a rule follower.

* He wants to do "big kid" things.

No if...

* He thinks it's funny to turn on the appliances or leave the house when you're not looking.

* She has separation issues and cries or gets anxious when you leave the room.

* He has trouble with self-control. If you tell him to eat his sandwich before his cookie, what will he do when you leave the room?

* She has trouble playing by herself.

* His preschool teacher or caretaker describes him as "demanding" or "mischievous."


But here's what you may not know: Just because your kid's awake doesn't mean you have to be. Experts say that, depending on their temperament and maturity level, many kids are able to fend for themselves in the morning, at least for a short time, by age 3. In fact, even some 2-year-olds can play quietly in their rooms. You've simply got to train them.

My sister-in-law, who has four children, has done just that. Her littlest ones, ages 4 and 2, know they can't leave their rooms until there's a 7 on the clock. Then they find bowls of dry cereal waiting on the kitchen table. Tiny stickers show them which buttons to press on the remote control to fire up their favorite movie. And Mom, blissfully, sleeps until 8 a.m.

To get to that point, you'll have to do a bit of work, and take some precautions. Most important, says Ari Brown, M.D., author of Toddler 411, before you start, ask yourself: Do I trust my child when my back is turned? Think about whether she always follows instructions - and so might be ready for a little more independence - or tends to get into mischief, in which case it might be best to wait. Make sure you childproof the area where your early bird will be, and that she understands it's okay to wake you in an emergency. Then let the training begin.

"Consistency is the main thing," advises Lawrence Shapiro, Ph.D., a child psychologist in Norwalk, CT, and author of A Parent's Guide to Getting Kids Out of the Family Bed. "Try it three or four times, and most kids will learn to love it."

The benefits, he adds, won't only be yours. "This is not just about Mom and Dad sleeping for another hour," Shapiro says. "It's about giving your child a chance to learn how to entertain himself, how to make breakfast. That's good for him."



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Tips for the Under-2 Crowd

If your baby is still in a crib, you obviously aren't going to be setting up morning craft projects. But there are a few things parents of tiny ones can do to get a little more shut-eye:

Don't rush to get her If your baby wakes up early and she's not crying, leave her in the crib, says Atlanta pediatrician Jennifer Shu, M.D. "She may drift back to sleep or at least entertain herself until it's a more reasonable hour."

Turn off the monitor Or at least turn it down. If he wakes and starts playing, you don't need to hear every coo and squeal. Unless your room is very far from your baby's, you're going to hear him when he really needs you.

Trade off with dad Why are you both losing sleep? Even if you can take turns only on weekends, that one morning of extra sleep can make a difference.

Find an early-morning sitter When you really need to catch up on your zzz's, ask Mom or another relative to spend the night and wake up with the kids. Or hire a sitter to arrive at 6 or 7 a.m., then go back to sleep for an hour or two.

Use clip-on crib toys... From simple plastic mirrors to elaborate activity centers, there are dozens of toys that attach securely to crib rails. "A musical toy with a button a baby can push over and over is great entertainment," says Dr. Shu. (Be sure to take down hanging mobiles, which can be dangerous once your child can sit up.)

...and inside-the-crib toys Once your child is 1, you can sneak in and leave a few age-appropriate toys inside the crib, Dr. Brown says, as long as they have no small pieces and your child can't stack them and climb out. Try soft blocks, a baby doll, or board books (great for reading and hurling over the rail). Rotate the toys so your baby will always have something new.

Put a playpen in your room If your baby isn't happy unless you're nearby, set up a play yard in your room and fill it with a few favorite toys. Practice during the day first, then once he's comfortable, try it in the morning - while you snooze a little longer.

Registering for Your Baby

Here are the basics. I'm sure the list will be updated as needed.

1.Don't register for clothes or bibs. People will get you clothes regardless of what you register for. It's not the same as a wedding shower. People love to buy baby clothes!
2.You need lots of A&D ointment and Desitin (we put some on every diaper to help prevent redness and rashes from developing)
3.baby bathtub,
4.bouncer (with vibrator,
5.high chair (at least by the time your baby is 4 months although we fed our in his bouncer/rocker for the first two months of rice cereal)
6.stroller and car seat,
7.diaper bag (we got a diaper backpack-check out daddygear.com or Amazon),
8.bath towels,
9.baby lotion & sunscreen, & shampoo,
10.first aid kit,
11.socks and caps/hats, stock up on infant Tylenol now,
12.Hyland teething tablets,
13.changing table or pack n play with bassinet and changing table (but your back will get sore with the pack n play b/c the changing tables are too low for consistent use),
14. swing (very important for first couple months),
15.bottles and pacifiers can be tricky b/c you don't know what your baby will prefer (we use NUK),
16.crib (if you don't plan on using a bassinet-I waited 3 months after the baby before buying a crib),
17.fleece blankets/receiving blankets,
18.batteries
19.diapers and diaper wipes. (cloth or disposable depending on your preference)

I also did a lot of research on Amazon, looking for ideas and reading reviews. It is overwhelming the first time.

Don't buy:
1.Crib & Mattress Set (you can't use the bumper or blanket for the first year-so save your $)
2.Bottle warmer (you want to serve your baby their bottle where ever you are-car, theme park, park, etc)
3.Fancy Spa Bathtub
3.Pee pee tippis (they fly off when the boy baby pees)

Remember:
You want your life to be as easy as possible. The more you buy, the more you have to learn how to use it and when to use it. Keep it simple so you can focus on your baby and getting sleep!

Toddler (Baby & Preschool) Activites by Age

I thought it would be fun to look at the different games you can play as your toddler gets older. (Scroll down to find Baby-Preschool games). Just another reason to join BabyCenter.

It doesn't take much to thrill a kid. In fact, it's often the "small stuff" that makes for the most meaningful childhood memories: your mom pulling off the road to let you climb a tree, being allowed to jump on a hotel bed, splashing wildly in mud puddles in the rain… The best part? Many of these kid-charmers are low-cost or even free.

In that spirit, here's a collection of simple, cheap, memory-making activities that are sure to be a bright spot in your child's day – and yours!

Here are some examples of the games, but you'll have to click on BabyCenter to be find the game description.

13 months old
• Under Cover
• Books on Board
• Fun Land at Home
• Shake Your Shaker

14 months old
• Block Party
• Mirror Me
• Monkey Motions
• Bag of Tricks

Here is another link in BabyCenter with a list of games from Baby to Preschool.

Here are some example "cheap and fun" games from the above link:
5 cheap and fun baby activities

Let 'er rip

Maybe it's that pleasing shredding sound or maybe it's the satisfaction of making a permanent change in something, but babies love to tear up paper. So plunder your recycling box for magazines or junk mail – when you see that gappy smile on your baby's face as she gets to work, you won't even mind the mess.

5 cheap and fun toddler activities

Hop a freight

Toddlers love transportation, especially if it's a departure from the same-old-same-old car seat. Check out your local airport or hospital – many have a free shuttle or tram that you can ride as often as your little one's heart desires. If you don't usually travel by bus, check your local bus system and take a spin around town, enjoying things from a thrilling new vantage point.

5 cheap and fun preschooler activities

Bathing in the pink

Or the green, or the blue… A few drops of food coloring can go a long way toward making bath time something special. It's especially fun to mix a couple of primary colors together, such as blue and red to make purple. And no, your child won't emerge from his bath looking like a grape – a few drops of food coloring diluted in a tub of water won't dye your child's skin.

Books for Mothers to Be or Young Moms

There are many books on pregnancy and the growing years of your baby. Here are the books I found helpful for myself and recommend to other moms or moms-to-be.

Pregnancy
The Pregnancy Countdown:Nine Months of Practical Tips, Useful Advice, and Uncensored Truths by Susna Magee. This is my second pregnancy and I'm enjoying just as much as I did the first time around. It's a small book with a couple of pages for each week of your pregnancy of practical tips, advice, and information about your baby, you and preparing for your baby. Here is an example of some humorous advice in week 26:

how to respond to comments at the gym..."are you sure you should be doing that in your condition?" or "Have you asked your doctor if that's safe?" Your response, "What condition?" and "I am a doctor." How to respond with raging hormones..."when are you do?" Your response, look at your watch, "any second now."... "Wow, you're huge!" Your response, "Yep, I'm pregnant, what's your excuse?"

Of course there are more serious comments as well describing your baby or the changes in your body.

New Moms
Being a Calm Mom.How to Manage Stress and Enjoy the First Year of Motherhood, by Deborah Roth Ledley. If you are having anxiety or depression or just plain nervous about being a new mom (like I was), this book was recommended me to and helped to alleviate some of my personal fears.

The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer by Harvey Karp. This book and DVD were recommended by my Pediatrician as well. Here is a short explanation of the book from Amazon.

Learn about swaddling, side/stomach position, shhh sounds, swinging and sucking. The book includes detailed advice on the proper way to swaddle a child, the difference between a gentle rocking versus shaking and more.

This book helped my husband and I out a lot when it came to calming our son on his bad nights. If you don't understand or believe his theories when you read the book, then watch the video. He shows his techniques on real patients. There are also links in the back of the book for finding his website or classes near to you that can also review the techniques with you and your baby. My husband and I attended the class and received the DVD as part of the class price.

The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old, by Harvey Karp. We haven't viewed the DVD yet, but Dr. Karp explanation of how the toddler's brain works and how to talk to them makes a lot of sense. Learning to speak "toddler-ese" takes practice, but has helped us with communicating with our 20 month old son and I feel it has alleviated many tantrums.

More Books to come...

Why Kids Get Sicker at Night-Parenting.com

I found this article very enlightening as a parent. Read on...

It started around 1 A.M. My son, Liam, was 14 months old, and the noises coming from his room didn't seem completely human: There was a sort of honking bark followed by a whistle-y kind of breathing. I ran into his room, my heart racing with worry, and I found him sitting up in his crib, looking scared and tired. I picked him up, took his temperature -- no fever -- and called the doctor. "It sounds like croup," the doctor said. "Wrap him up in a warm blanket, sit outside with him, and call me back if his cough and breathing don't improve in ten minutes." Huh? This was early spring in New Hampshire. Sit outside?

It had to be worth a shot. I wrapped Liam up so that only his frightened little face was exposed, put on my winter coat, and stepped onto our screened-in porch. We sat on the rocking chair, moving back and forth, looking at the stars, and listening to the croaking tree frogs. Within 15 minutes his throat gradually, miraculously cleared. The coughing stopped, his breathing sounded normal, and believe it or not, he had fallen back to sleep.

In the meantime, my husband had set up a modern version of outdoor night air -- a cool-mist humidifier -- in Liam's room. I put him back in his crib, and he slept through the night. I, on the other hand, kept checking in on him every hour or so, but that's what mothers do.

Sickness never comes at a convenient time, but when your child awakens in the middle of the night with distressing symptoms, chaos often follows. Everyone is half asleep and not thinking clearly. The doctor's office is closed, and you don't know whether you should call and wake him or try to deal with the ailment yourself. Let's relieve some of the stress of that decision right now: Anytime you think your child's health may be in serious danger -- for instance, he has a high fever and is acting poorly, has trouble breathing, has a strange rash, or is having a seizure -- call your doctor (or 911) immediately. And almost any symptom in a baby under 4 months old merits an immediate call to the doctor, no matter the time.

So what are you supposed to do the other 97 percent of the time when your child wakes up at 2 A.M. worse off than when he went to bed? Symptoms of many children's illnesses routinely worsen at night, and though there's nothing life-threatening about them, they can make your child miserable. Fortunately, with a little planning and the help of our middle-of-the-night health guide, you'll have what you need to get your kid (and you!) feeling better by morning.

Asthma and allergies

why they're worse at night: If your child has asthma or certain allergies, you're probably all too familiar with the challenges of helping her through the wee hours. There are many factors at play: "The body's level of cortisol drops at night, and cortisol has some preventive effects on asthma," says Santiago Martinez, M.D., pediatric allergist and clinical assistant professor of medicine at Florida State University Medical School in Tallahassee. Plus, the levels of histamine rise, aggravating many allergy and asthma symptoms. And finally, some allergens, such as dust mites and pet dander, may be more prevalent in a child's room, increasing her exposure while she sleeps.

what to do: If your child has an allergy attack at night, an antihistamine should quell her symptoms (ask your doctor for the best one to have on hand for your child). Should you find that her attacks are frequent and occur year-round, you may want to consider immunotherapy shots, which introduce tiny amounts of the allergen into the body, slowly allowing immunity to build.

Got an asthmatic? You know what to stock: a bronchodilator, which immediately opens the airways; a peak flow meter to monitor your child's breathing; and preventive medications such as leukotriene inhibitors or inhaled steroid medications, which work to keep inflammation in check long-term.

"If your child is having more than two flare-ups of asthma a week -- whether it's just a chronic dry cough or wheezing -- or if she's not responding well to the bronchodilators, her condition is not well controlled and she should be reevaluated by a doctor," says Dr. Martinez. "Virtually everyone can get their asthma under control if it is diagnosed and treated early. In some cases, asthma and allergies may just be seasonal problems, and treatment can be stepped up or reduced, depending on the need."

Preventive steps to reduce the allergens can go a long way, too. That may mean keeping your child's windows closed, banning Fluffy and Fido from her room, and encasing her bedding in allergy-proof covers. You can also consider using HEPA filters in your vacuum and a HEPA air filter -- these are designed to trap the minuscule particles that can aggravate symptoms.

Croup

why it's worse at night: This barking-seal cough is usually the result of a viral infection that has settled in the upper airway and voice box, and typically strikes while the child has a cold. Because it causes swelling of the vocal cords, the cough also may be accompanied by noisy, rapid breathing. Croup is almost always at its worst at night, partly because blood flow to the respiratory tract changes when a child lies down. Plus, dry air can aggravate it.

what to do: "Begin by giving your child a dose of children's ibuprofen to reduce the severity of the swelling in his airways and relieve the discomfort," says Andrea Leeds, M.D., a pediatrician in Bellmore, New York, and a member of the committee on practice and ambulatory medicine for the American Academy of Pediatrics. (If your child is younger than 12 months, skip ibuprofen unless your doctor has already given you the okay to use it.) "Then strip him down to his diaper or underpants, turn on the shower full blast, and sit in the steamy bathroom with him for fifteen minutes." After that -- and this is the most important part, says Dr. Leeds -- dress him, wrap him up in a blanket, and take him outside in the cool night air (or, if it's summertime, hold him in front of the open freezer door or an air conditioner for at least five minutes). The steam relaxes the airways and vocal cords, while the cold air reduces the swelling; this combination often controls symptoms until the next day, when you can go to the doctor. (Like my doctor, yours may recommend one strategy or the other; if you notice a clear improvement, as we did with just the cold air, it's usually fine to stop there.)

Earache

why it's worse at night: Whether the infection is in the middle ear or in the ear canal (also called swimmer's ear), these puppies can hurt. Lying down increases the collection of fluid and puts extra pressure on the inflamed tissue.

what to do: Ibuprofen (for kids older than 12 months) or acetaminophen can help relieve the ache, but you can also try this remedy for severe pain from middle ear infections: "Heat a tablespoon of olive oil in the microwave so it's warm -- but not hot -- to your touch," says Dr. Leeds. "Put two to three drops of the warm oil in your child's affected ear. It relaxes the membranes and brings almost instant relief." Applying a warm, damp washcloth to your child's ear also can help. Either way, it's smart to check in with your doctor in the morning; your child may need an antibiotic to clear the infection if it's not improving on its own (as many do). If your child is prone to them, ask about getting prescription eardrops to numb the pain next time around.

Fever

why it's worse at night: Body temperature rises naturally in the evening, so a fever that was slight during the day can easily spike during sleep.

what to do: First, take your child's temperature (do it rectally if she's under 6 months old -- and, ideally, for as long as she'll allow this method). Any fever above 100.4°F in an infant under 3 months warrants an immediate call to the doctor. Same goes for an elevated temp in any child that's accompanied by lethargy, vomiting, diarrhea, stiff neck, or an unusual rash.

Otherwise, try a dose of acetaminophen, wait half an hour, and check the temperature again, says Dr. Leeds. "If it hasn't begun to come down and she's older than a year, give your child some ibuprofen, too," she adds. "You can use these medications together, separated by half an hour. Just remember that acetaminophen can be given every four hours, and ibuprofen can be given every six to eight hours." (Write down the time of each dose to help you keep track.) In the meantime -- and if you're not too delirious -- you can give your child a room-temperature bath to help cool her down. And definitely help her stay hydrated by offering some water (or formula or breast milk if she's a baby) before she goes back to sleep. Call the doctor in the morning to check in; she may want you to bring your child in.

Itchy skin

why it's worse at night: When your child is lying still, it's a whole lot easier to focus on the itchiness, whether it's due to poison ivy, bug bites, eczema, or even sunburn. And if the itchy skin is rooted in some kind of allergy, you've got the higher nighttime levels of histamines to thank.

what to do: Take some advice from Tyler Bingham of Lynn Haven, Florida, whose 4-year-old daughter has eczema. "Katie's skin is always itchier at night," says Bingham. "So before she goes to bed, we use a moisturizing body wash, then I'll massage a dry-skin lotion, usually one from Aveeno, onto her legs, where her eczema is the worst. The massage calms her and the lotion soothes. If need be, I also run a cool-mist humidifier in her room to keep the air moist."

Dealing with an allergic rash or lots of bites? An antihistamine can bring relief. A topical cortisone cream can help as well, but again, avoid using this type of product before you have specific instructions from your ped.

Stuffy nose

why it's worse at night: Too bad kids can't sleep standing up like horses -- then their nasal passages wouldn't swell more when they sleep!

what to do: For immediate relief, use saline nose drops or spray. Both will moisten the membranes and loosen the secretions, making it easier for your child to blow out the mucus, or for you to remove it with a bulb syringe if you have a baby. "My nine-month-old, Hamza, hated the bulb syringe whenever I used it on him," says Diana Malikyar, who lives in Stone Mountain, Georgia. "But then I laid him down in front of the bathroom mirror so he could watch me doing it. Once it stopped taking him by surprise, he was very willing to let me use it."

You may be tempted to offer your child a decongestant, but they're no longer recommended for kids under 2, and many doctors advise against giving them to older kids. There's no evidence that they work, and some that they could cause harm. And unless you're positive the stuffiness is due to allergies, steer clear of antihistamines, too.

Vomiting

why it's worse at night: It's not that kids are necessarily more likely to throw up at night; it's more that it feels about ten times worse because you usually end up having to change bedsheets, clean up rugs, change and wash pajamas -- all when you're bone tired. Then you have to worry that it could happen again. (Oh, and it's pretty awful for your kid.)

what to do: First, make sure your child isn't throwing up anything green or bloody; if he is, call the doctor, as this could indicate a more serious condition. Same goes for vomiting accompanied by pain in the lower right side of the abdomen. If it's just run-of-the-mill vomiting, do your best to clean up and calm down your child. Comfort him with a cool, wet washcloth on his forehead and face, then let him go back to sleep, with a plastic bowl or other container by his bed in case he feels sick again. If he's still awake an hour later but hasn't vomited again, try giving him small sips of flat cola or ginger ale, if you have it. "You can also try opening up a can of pears or peaches and giving the child one tablespoon of the syrup inside every fifteen minutes," says Philip Itkin, M.D., clinical associate professor of pediatrics at the University of Nebraska Medical College in Omaha. "It really helps settle the stomach and keeps him hydrated." An ice pop is a good alternative, too.

Elisa Pollack Kandel is no stranger to middle-of-the-night vomit sessions. "My four-year-old daughter has a weak stomach, and one night she threw up a grand total of fourteen times, beginning at three A.M.," says Kandel, who lives in Merrick, New York. "Since then, I've learned to keep hand towels in her night-table drawer and a plastic wastepaper basket by her bed. Plus, the minute I hear her cough at night, I run in and pull back the top sheet and comforter. It really cuts down on the laundry! And whenever pillows go on sale, I buy a couple." Now that's what we call prepared.

Here is most of the article. Click on the link for full details.

What They Don't Tell You About Babies As a New Mom

This is an ongoing list of things new mom's I have met, including me, have learned post delivery.

Crying
Like all new babies, our baby cried a lot, but not enough for colic. We learned that the crying was usually related to a trapped gas bubble. So we learned to burp the baby during feeding to help decrease the pain associated with gas. Another trick for getting rid of the gas to was bring the babies knees into its chest. (My husband likes to sing "Pump it Up". He claims that the less you can get the knees to your baby's chest, the more bubbles that are trapped). This would help push the gas out the other way. These little tricks really helped ease our baby's pain and decrease the crying. With baby #2, I'm so much more relaxed as a mom knowing he is either crying because of hunger, diaper change, or trapped bubbles.

C-section
One of the things we (3 other moms I met early on) were all surprised about was getting stretch marks AFTER delivery on our bottoms. Baby #2 stretched me differently, so be prepared that that's part of the deal.

Cereal
When starting your baby on solids (which can start as early as 4 months as directed by your doctor), you can start babies on cereal. We went with rice cereal as directed, only to run into trouble with constipation. An alternative to rice cereal is oatmeal, which does not cause constipation. AS the baby gets used to solids, you can introduce veggies and fruit. We also included veggies and fruit in the cereal. We found this was a great way to introduce new veggies and fruit to our baby.

Getting the Nursery Ready
Being a first time mom, I didn't know what was necessary for a newborn versus what was for looks. Instead of spending a ton of money on a nursery remodel, we bought wall clingies from Target that would come off the wall easily when the baby got older and we wanted to change the theme. Second, I enlisted the help of a friend who had children to help me organize the nursery. She told me what she kept within reaching distance and what could be put away for later. This made life so much easier when the baby was here.

Phone
Having a phone that could access the Internet was a life saver the first few months of bringing home the baby. I highly recommend it! The phone allowed me to access my email, Facebook, and other mindless activities so I didn't feel I was out touch and helped to keep my mind stimulated.

Internet Websites - BabyCenter
Baby Center and other websites are great to join because you register your baby's age and are sent weekly emails on your child's development and common issues at that age. There are also forums for asking questions, you can share articles on Facebook with your friends, and find ideas for playing with your baby as they get older.

Sleep When the Baby Sleeps
As hard as you try, sometimes you just cannot sleep when the baby sleeps, especially when they are waking you every hour to two hours. Even if I got one nap in, it threw off my night schedule where I couldn't fall asleep until later in the evening. And I was exhausted all the time. For us, the sound of advice of "sleeping when baby sleeps" is more practical as the baby gets older and is on a nap schedule. Right now, my husband and I know our son will take a long nap three hours after waking up in the morning with an optional afternoon nap. So we sleep during the morning nap otherwise we know there is no other opportunity unless one of us watches the baby while the other one sleeps.

Driving
My first son was not one to fall easily asleep in the car. MY second son reminded me how red lights are not the friend of a parent with a newborn. Some tricks I learned with my first son was to have songs to sing because I sang "10 Little Monkeys" over and over, but it calmed him down. We also left the little light on in the back of the car so he wasn't so scared. Now that he's older it's not a problem, but that first year was tough. We didn't know what kind of drive we would have.

Managing Your Time (Some Tips From Kaiser)
Set Your Priorities: Every evening make a list of the most important things to do tomorrow. Don't forget to try to set aside relaxation time for yourself.
Divide and Conquer: List the main components and the time they'll require for an overwhelming job. Then plan specific blocks of time in your schedule for each.
Double Up: Do two things at once. You might have a business discussion while going for a walk.
Delegate: Everything doesn't have to be done your way. Good time management includes lightening your load by handing over responsibility to someone else.
Laundry: To save sorting time and avoid mismatches, buy your child socks in only one style and one color.
Errands: Make it a habit to consolidate errands and appt instead of making small trips.
Cooking: Keep food simple, easy, and nutritious. When cooking a main meal, make extra so you can freeze in meal-size portion for dinners another time.
Family Matters: To help organize family matters , keep a big calendar on display. You can use different color pens to mark member's activities and appt.

The Happiest Baby on the Block

The Happiest Baby on the Block: My Change Nation Interview with Dr. Harvey Karp

You can calm even a colicky baby in minutes or even seconds, provided you use the right technique. That's according to renowned pediatrician and infant expert, Dr. Harvey Karp, creator of the best-selling books and DVDs, The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block. "Babies are born with a calming reflex—with an off switch for crying and an on switch for sleep," suggests Karp. "You [just have to] learn how to trigger this reflex."

Karp, also known as "The Baby Whisperer," offers five S’s for triggering a baby"s calming reflex—swaddling, shushing, side or stomach position, swinging or sucking. Every child is a bit different in terms of what he or she likes, but when you get it right, it works again and again.

"It's no different than a knee reflex," says Karp. "If you hit the knee in the right place, the foot goes out a hundred times in a row."

You may click here to listen to the rest of my Change Nation interview with Dr. Harvey Karp.
© 2009 The First Thirty Days, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Top Tips for New Moms

Life with a new baby can be a rollercoaster of intense emotions and unexpected challenges. To help yourself feel less overwhelmed, try these tested tips:

- Line up some help. Have a loved one or friend coordinate a month-long schedule of people to clean, prepare healthy meals, run errands and help with the baby, so you can rest and recover. This is not selfish; it's self-care.

- Make feeding fun. To keep those 8-12 feedings per day from wearing you down, create a special spot stashed with snacks, books, soft music and comfy pillows. Watch a favorite TV show, catch up with a good friend on the phone or dive into a parenting magazine.

- Be with other moms. Find or start a regular playgroup with other new moms in your area. Nothing is more reassuring than hearing and seeing that you're completely normal—everybody else is experiencing the same thing!

Read the rest of our top tips for new moms. And check out all of our expert advice on the first 30 days of having a new baby here.
© 2009 The First Thirty Days, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

What Baby Really Needs From Daddy

When you're a new dad, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is not connecting enough with your newborn. "Every bit of research that we have says that the more time men spend with their children, the better it is for the dad and for the child," says Jerrold Lee Shapiro, Ph.D., licensed clinical psychologist and author of Becoming a Father, The Measure of a Man. "It's about just being in the same room with them." He urges men to form their own relationships with their children—the earlier the better. The baby doesn't belong only to Mom, after all.

According to Shapiro, another common mistake is for new dads to get so overwhelmed by financial concerns that they start working more hours or at another job. "They then lose time connecting with the baby, because they are so into the protect-and-provide mode," he notes.

Read more advice from Jerrold Lee Shapiro, Ph.D. on being a new dad.© 2009 The First Thirty Days, Inc.

Top 10 Baby Words

Here is a list of the Top 10 First Words according to Baby Talk (December 2009).
Dada (check)
Mama (check)
BaaBaa (check)
Bye (check)
Ho (check)
Uh Oh
Grr (check, does neigh count too?)
Bottle (that's what BaBa is for)
Yum Yum
Dog

So our son nailed most of those words. His other favorite words at 13 months is "that" which is his favorite words since he merely points and mom and dad must figure out which item he wants us to say or get, and "coc" which stands for clock and cookie.

Sleep for Baby & Mommy?

I'm reading "Your Baby's First Year," by the American Academy Of Pediatrics and I'm re-reading the part of "sleeping" in the chapter regarding 1-3 month olds. It says that babies should be sleeping though the night by month 3. I'm in month 3 and find 5 hours of sleep at night a blessing. I am also considered the lucky mom in my mommy group. There are two other babies a few weeks younger than my son and they are not sleeping as long as my son. I think to myself, "I'm so lucky." When I talk to other moms I run into, they also want to know what magical formula my son eats that allows him to sleep so well. Then I read the book again and it seems my son should be sleeping longer. This is where I find myself saying, "what am I doing wrong?" This is what I call the "mommy trap." Moms can be so hard on themselves. I decided that I'll stick with my five hours and hope that my sons sleeps a little longer when I go back to work.