Activty Books for Infants and Toddlers

Having worked with older kids most of my life, I confess I am clueless when coming up with ideas to do with my 1 and 3 year olds. So I have been browsing the Internet and looking at books to find activities that don't cost much but are easy to do with little hands and small attention spans. Here is what I have found I like so far.

1 Browse the Internet. Type in "spring crafts," or whatever, and you will be bombarded with free Internet sites with craft ideas. Some websites are great and even label the crafts by age group and difficulty.

2. "At the Zoo: Explore the Animal World with Craft Fun" by Judy Press. I love this craft book. The crafts looks so easy and materials needed are simple like kleenex box, googly eyes, pipe cleaners, paper, etc. My 3 year old who isn't into crafts as much as I am helped me easily with making the snake. I think this book is great for toddlers into early elementary.

3. "Look What You Can Make From Paper Plates" by Margie Richmond. Paper plates, toilet paper rolls, egg cartons, and paint make these crafts easy. Can't wait to make the dinosaur project with my eldest. I think this book is great for toddlers into early elementary.

4. "The Encyclopedia of Infant and Toddler Activities" by Kathy Charner. I like this book because it has activities and crafts organized by age and activity like fine motor, gross motor, etc. There are so many good ideas and you may have done some of them on your own without every opening the book. However, they have a variety of ideas that have helped me since I am not skilled with coming up with these types of activities on my own.

5. "Making Toys for Infants and Toddlers" by Linda Miller. Homemade and easy, these are crafts any little one can do. Some of the toys are great and others are not my cup of tea, but I think the ideas are great if you want simple, easy, and cheap. Example supplies are toilet paper rolls, stockings, cardboard, paper, pictures and the like.

6. Luckily, some of these books were at my library so I was able to preview and try them out before getting them. I encourage you to utilize your library and check out these type of books on your own to see what fits your style.

Closing Activity or Ending Ideas For the Middle/High Classroom

1. I’ve always heard that you should have closure at the end of each class, but I haven’t found the best method until recently. The previous year I had students write their “closing activity” answer down on paper. However, I already did “opening activity” papers and this created a larger work load of grading for me. And it did not tell me right away (except for the few students I called on), whether they understood the concept for the day until two weeks later when I was grading the assignment. I also found that the kids wanted to answer the closing when they did the opening, defeating the purpose of a closing question. Or some students would be so fixed on packing up that they wouldn’t do the closing, even though I would ask them to complete it. I ended up having to end class earlier and checking every students paper to see they were completing the closing, thus, taking more time and energy for me. I am always looking for something that places responsibility on the student, not create more work for me. I had a brainstorm last year and I’ve been using it for a year and plan to use it this year too. It may become defined or changed over time, but I think it’s a large improvement from the previous year.
I have headings on the board like “homework,” “today’s activities,” “test date,” “learning targets,” “opening activity,” and now “closing activity.” Then I made 5 slips of paper for the closing activity with the following headings, (that I can change each day, and I use a magnetic clip to hold up). The headings are:
Door (I ask a question at the door as they exit)
Journal (They answer a question in their journal)
Partner (They have to tell their partner the answer to the question I ask)
Random (I call on a student/s to randomly to answer a question)
Whiteboard (Students draw or write their answer on a whiteboard)

2. Reading “The Kid Who Invented the Popsicle” is a great way to end class when you want to keep the attention of your students. Each entry is a paragraph long, so you can use it to cover a couple minutes to five minutes in class. I wouldn’t do more than five minutes as it can get redundant. The table of contents is extensive. Some time in the beginning of the school year to get things started with this procedure, I will read the Popsicle story, since the title is about the Popsicle. After that, I walk up to a student and give them a couple seconds to pick an entry. Then I read the entry (this way I can change words or explain concepts as I read). The kids are always eager to be the ones picked to pick an entry. Some of my favorites I’ve read to the students are about the hot air balloon, teddy bear, vending machines, bikini, Dr. pepper, and quiz.
There are other books like this out on the market, but this book has been the best at filling in a couple minutes of class time. I usually end up using the book at the end of class when we get done earlier than planned or they seem really squirrely and I need to keep their focus. I also bring it out for the sub to use in case my lesson plan is too short.

Socks (how to organize for 2 children and more)

I have a 2 year old and 8 month old at this time, which means two completely separate sock sizes. But the socks are so small for each that I still have a hard time figuring out which sock belongs to which kids. So I have come up with a system that works for me and doesn’t involve too much extra work and saves me time when I’m putting clothes away.
Mesh bags (different colors would be even better). You can easily find them on Amazon. I throw the whole mesh bag into the washer and dryer to the socks stay together and do not get separated. It saves me a lot of time and hassle and makes it easier to put the socks into the proper drawers.

Stops for Toddlers From the Inland Empire to Tahoe using the 395 freeway

So when I researched places to stop for my one and three year old, there were some great places to stopat, but all appropriate for older kids. So I decided to make my own list of places to stop with parks and play areas at fast food restaurants that were better suited for toddlers. I found bringing some cars and trucks for play at parks was a big benefit. We were also able to use these toys at the lodge we stayed at in Tahoe, so it was a win-win situation. I also want to let you know that there are a couple of hours of nothing, meaning, desert and no play stops on the 395 near the Inland Empire area. Here is the list we came up with on our drive from the Inland Empire to Tahoe. Hope it helps you!

Diaz Lake Campground - play area by lake

Lone Pine - large park with playground, bathroom, and a stream runs through this shaded location with several picnic benches. We stopped here on the way up and down b/c it was a great time for lunch and to let the kids run around

Independence - small park, no playground, shade and grass

Big Pine - park symbol as we drove by

Bishop - inside play area at Mc Donalds. Another great stop we took so the kids could play indoors and run around while we snacked up. They also have Laws Railroad Museum open all year from 10-4pm.
June Lake Loop - camping, horses, and hiking & area to stretch and eat
Lee Vining - bronze bear outpost has a chance for you to park and stretch, but nothing for play
Champagne Avenue off 395 is residential but has a park and play area

Gardnerville - McDonalds has a playcenter. Also, yo can follow the signs to Heritage Park on Gulliman Road. The park is very large and the boys enjoyed stretching their legs and playing with their trucks and cars

Carson City - Clear Creek Road across from Costco. Playarea, bathrooms, shade, park

267 meets NV 28 - east of junction there is a playground and small picnic area by lake that is shaded

Are You a Pushover Parent? Here is Some Good Advice

I like this article from Good Housekeeping (January 2011) because it deals with older kids/teens.

Are You a Pushover Parent?
If you're a softie with your kids (but wish you weren't), it's not too late to get an authoritative backbone. Here's how.
By Charlotte Latvala

As I walked through my living room not long ago, picking up dirty socks and empty pretzel bags, I muttered, "Why is it that no one but me cleans up around here?" Even though my two older kids (Mathilda, 15, and A.J., 13) were sitting within earshot, they didn't respond; Mathilda was absorbed in her school-issued laptop; A.J., his parent-issued iPod Touch. "Why am I cleaning up your mess?" I said, much louder this time. Silence. I tried a third time, almost shouting. A.J. looked up from his iPod, made eye contact, and...shrugged.
Here it is, I thought: proof that I've failed as a parent. My greatest wish, at that moment, was to rewind the clock to the preschool years and post that chore chart I never quite got around to. While I was back there, I'd add some oomph to my parenting style, which has always veered between "laid-back" and "extremely laid-back." Don't get me wrong; it's not that my kids are awful. Overall, they're sweet and funny; they get decent grades and hang out with friends I love. But I spend way too much time cajoling, reminding, and nagging. And I'm not always consistent with discipline; sometimes I freak out over too much TV and other times — depending on my exhaustion level — I let it slide. I'd wager there are other moms out there like me: those who wish they'd held the line more and worry it's too late to repent.
Fortunately, even if your kids are teenagers, you can still redeem yourself. "It's absolutely never too late," says child development and behavior specialist Betsy Brown Braun, author of You're Not the Boss of Me: Brat-Proofing Your 4- to 12-Year-Old Child. "Granted, it can be harder to change patterns as kids get older; it's like asking them to speak Italian when they've been speaking Greek for years. However, as long as you are clear and honest with your child, it can be done." So over the past few weeks, I've tried some new tactics from parenting experts. Here's what I've learned (along with a few things I'm still working on). To make a change, you need to:

Admit Your Mistakes
The first step is acknowledging your part in the problem, says Brown Braun — to both yourself and to your children. Be honest about the fact that you've let them dodge chores or mouth off in the past. "Don't turn it into a finger-wagging session," she says. "It's not about blame; it's about you saying, 'I've allowed you to talk to me that way or not help with the dishes for years, but now that's over.' You're giving kids a heads-up and letting them know what changes are ahead."
Where you have "the talk" makes a difference, says Michael J. Bradley, Ed.D., author of When Things Get Crazy With Your Teen. "To signal that a sea change is under way, break it to them in a different venue," says Bradley. "It's human nature to act the same old way in the same old places." (Harping about new video game rules while your kid is playing Wii, for instance, will have zero effect.) Bradley's favorite spot for any one-on-one with a tween or teen: a café — it's away from home, and kids feel grown-up and comfortable. So I took my older kids (separately) to Starbucks, bought each a decaf mocha, and laid it out: "I've goofed by letting you slack off, and now I need you to step up and take some responsibility." I even produced a two-page list of weekly household chores and asked each to pick a few tasks. I was expecting resistance, so I was pleasantly surprised when Mathilda said, "As long as I don't have to take out the garbage." A.J.'s main concern was that life was suddenly going to become all chores, all the time. When I assured him that he'd still be able to have friends over and play video games once he got his work done, he was agreeable, and selected several jobs from the list I'd drawn up. Giving kids a say in picking chores is vital, says Brown Braun; they're much more likely to cooperate and feel a sense of accomplishment in a job they've chosen.

Come Up With A Plan
For me, chores are the hot-button issue. For moms like Kim DeVigil, of Denver, it's bedtime. The mother of four girls (twins age 9, plus an 11- and a 13-year-old) says, "Every night I get home from work at 7 P.M . and say, 'Tonight we're going to bed early.' But getting four tweens ready for bed is a lot like herding cats. Even when I'm aiming for 9 P.M., it's usually 10:30 by the time they're all in bed."
Begin any change with a detailed plan, says Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., author of Freeing Your Child From Negative Thinking. "If bedtime is 9:30 P.M., map out what needs to happen beforehand to get there," she says. Approach it like a group project at school — it's a concept kids immediately get. "You might say, 'Clearly, we're having a problem sticking with a healthy bedtime. Let's figure out together what each of us can do to make this work. What do you think is workable?' " Chansky suggests. Counterintuitive as it sounds, you may need to dial down the authority level here; again, if tweens feel like their voice counts, they're more likely to cooperate. "In the end, what you want is a solution," says Chansky. "But you don't necessarily need to be the author of the solution." So listen to their suggestions, and then add your own (say, moving daily showers or chores from late afternoon to the early morning hours).

Simply repeating your plan out loud is a huge help, says Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. "Research shows that if you actually announce your intention, you're more likely to commit and stick to it," says Borba. "The same principle works for people who are trying to lose weight." Another idea from Borba: Set reminders for yourself on your cell phone or computer. "Or post a photo of the problem (e.g., your kid's disastrous closet) as your computer background so you remember to follow up with him."

Take Small Steps
Of course, saying you'll do something and actually doing it are two different things. Don't tackle too much too soon, says Borba — otherwise you'll be overwhelmed. "Use the foot-in-the-door technique," she recommends. "For instance, start with one chore instead of five. Once you've had success, you add more." Also, make sure the first step is a super-easy one. One of A.J.'s chosen items on the chore list was tackling his messy room, but "saying, 'Clean your room' is way too general," says Borba. "Just making the bed is a step in the right direction," she says. So we went to IKEA and I let A.J. pick out a comforter in a funky pattern. Voilà — he started tossing it over the bed in the morning, and the room looked instantly neater. I let him know (repeatedly) how happy I was; next, I asked him to get the dirty clothes off the floor and down the laundry chute — and was pleasantly surprised when he complied (though some days, I had to remind him about "our Starbucks talk").
These may be teeny changes, but the smallest tweaks to your kid's routine can make an impact, says Borba; there's a spillover effect that makes the next problem easier to tackle. "Kids really do get hooked on those feelings of accomplishment, and they genuinely want to receive your praise," she says.

Stop Yelling
I've often regretted how much I've hollered at my kids. I tend to let things slide and then explode when they finally push me over the limit — the absolutely wrong way to go, says Bradley, because kids can tune out the low-level nagging and only listen when you screech. That means they never learn internal motivation. "When a parent asks, 'Did you take the trash out?' over and over, it's like an alarm clock set on snooze," he says. "The first three times it goes off don't count. When the clock — or parent — finally goes insane, the kid knows he'd better get moving." Obviously, there's got to be a better way.
Consider my friend Sandy, who yelled at her 16-year-old son to turn off his video games after school for months, to no avail. But when she took action — literally, by locking up her son's video game system in a secondhand armoire — she got through. "Now he calmly finishes his homework and chores before the doors are unlocked," she says.
Another trick that stops the yelling: Communicate in writing, says Borba — kids are so comfortable texting, IM-ing, and e-mailing that they often respond better to written requests (even old-fashioned Post-it notes work). Also, when things are written down, you take your emotions out of the picture, and there's no room for misunderstanding. "Believe it or not, tweens and teens are highly sensitive to sarcasm," says Borba. "Also, they frequently misinterpret facial expressions." If you're screaming, they'll only remember the anger, not the point you were trying to make.

Give Kids A Carrot
In many ways, early adolescence is an ideal time for discipline do-overs, says Bradley, "since at this age, kids are looking for autonomy." Tap into that desire for independence by offering incentives they truly want — like spending money. Explain that kids can earn cash (or privileges, if you're dead set against paying them) by getting chores done within the agreed-upon time. That's it — no threats. "You get yourself out of the equation. They decide if they're going to do it," Bradley says.
The first week I tried this with A.J., the garbage cans were still sitting in the garage at the appointed hour. That's OK, says Bradley: "It's a good learning experience, and the system provides its own muscle." I dragged the cans to the curb myself without saying a word. Later that day, A.J. was crestfallen. "Does this mean I won't get paid?" he asked. "Not this week," I said calmly. "But you'll have another chance next week, and I'm sure you'll do better." Sure enough, the trash went out on time the next few weeks.

Stick With It
I'm happy with the changes we've started to make as a family — the kids are doing more around the house, and I'm yelling less — but I'm still worried I won't stay consistent over the months and years to come, particularly in my weak or tired moments. That's when I remember that experts say it takes three weeks to form a new habit and at least six months for it to become automatic. "Be forgiving of yourself and your kids when someone blows it. Then start fresh the next day," says Brown Braun. Praise them when they get it right, and when they don't, remind them that change is tough for everyone, but it gets easier. And don't forget to spend one-on-one time with your kids; it's especially important to let them know they're loved as you ask more of them in the months ahead.

Education reform: Shorter week, more learning

Education reform: Shorter week, more learning
More than 120 school districts across the U.S. are finding that less can be more — less being fewer days spent in school.»

May 8, 2011
The general assumption is that when it comes to educating American kids, more is more. Longer school hours. Saturday school. Summer school. Yet more than 120 school districts across the nation are finding that less can also be more — less being fewer days spent in school.

The four-day school week has been around for decades, according to the National Council of State Legislatures, but it's quietly spreading as a money-saving tactic, especially after several states — including Montana, Georgia, Missouri and Washington — passed legislation allowing school districts to make the switch as long as they lengthened each school day so that there was no reduction in instructional hours. Teachers work just as much under the four-day plan, so there are no cost reductions there, but schools have saved from 2% to 9%, according to a 2009 report by the Center for Education Policy at the University of Southern Maine. Utility and transportation costs are lower; there's no need to serve a fifth lunch each week; even the reduced wear and tear on buildings has helped.

Here's the surprise: There appear to be educational benefits as well. Absenteeism among students and teachers in these schools has fallen appreciably, the report said. (As a result, schools also paid less money for substitute teachers.) Students reported feeling more positive about school. Dropout rates fell, students behaved better and participation in extracurricular activities rose. Parents of young children often objected to the change because of the need to find childcare, but once the programs were in place, the report said, they often found that it was easier to find care for one full day a week than for several partial days. Test scores didn't fall, and in many cases, they rose.

As promising as all this sounds, the findings are far from definitive. The four-day week has been tried mostly in tiny, rural school districts. Providing the necessary childcare could be more of a challenge in urban areas. And despite the findings above, four-day schedules might turn out to be more helpful to high school students than children in primary grades, who have shorter attention spans. For those children, teachers said, it would help to schedule meatier academic subjects early in the day, but it still means the later hours are likely to be less academically productive.

Four-day school weeks aren't an educational panacea, but they are intriguing. Even in Los Angeles, there might be individual schools where such an arrangement would lower dropout rates and perhaps give teenage students an opportunity to find part-time jobs. Some teachers might prefer it too, which would be a way to provide a benefit without additional cost.

California has 10 or so school districts, all with fewer than 500 students, that use the four-day week. It takes a new law each time a school district wants to try it. The state could make that simpler, ideally by allowing a couple of hundred schools to try the new schedule in a pilot program, and checking on the results in a few years. Real reform requires schools to break the mold, to test new ideas; here's one that's worth a try.

Copyright © 2011, Los Angeles Times

The High Cost of Low Teacher Salaries

I like how the article explains the lack of respect, support, and money for teachers also has an impact in our educational system.

The High Cost of Low Teacher Salaries
By DAVE EGGERS and NÍNIVE CLEMENTS CALEGARI

WHEN we don’t get the results we want in our military endeavors, we don’t blame the soldiers. We don’t say, “It’s these lazy soldiers and their bloated benefits plans! That’s why we haven’t done better in Afghanistan!” No, if the results aren’t there, we blame the planners. We blame the generals, the secretary of defense, the Joint Chiefs of Staff. No one contemplates blaming the men and women fighting every day in the trenches for little pay and scant recognition.

And yet in education we do just that. When we don’t like the way our students score on international standardized tests, we blame the teachers. When we don’t like the way particular schools perform, we blame the teachers and restrict their resources.

Compare this with our approach to our military: when results on the ground are not what we hoped, we think of ways to better support soldiers. We try to give them better tools, better weapons, better protection, better training. And when recruiting is down, we offer incentives.

We have a rare chance now, with many teachers near retirement, to prove we’re serious about education. The first step is to make the teaching profession more attractive to college graduates. This will take some doing.

At the moment, the average teacher’s pay is on par with that of a toll taker or bartender. Teachers make 14 percent less than professionals in other occupations that require similar levels of education. In real terms, teachers’ salaries have declined for 30 years. The average starting salary is $39,000; the average ending salary — after 25 years in the profession — is $67,000. This prices teachers out of home ownership in 32 metropolitan areas, and makes raising a family on one salary near impossible.

So how do teachers cope? Sixty-two percent work outside the classroom to make ends meet. For Erik Benner, an award-winning history teacher in Keller, Tex., money has been a constant struggle. He has two children, and for 15 years has been unable to support them on his salary. Every weekday, he goes directly from Trinity Springs Middle School to drive a forklift at Floor and Décor. He works until 11 every night, then gets up and starts all over again. Does this look like “A Plan,” either on the state or federal level?

We’ve been working with public school teachers for 10 years; every spring, we see many of the best teachers leave the profession. They’re mowed down by the long hours, low pay, the lack of support and respect.

Imagine a novice teacher, thrown into an urban school, told to teach five classes a day, with up to 40 students each. At the year’s end, if test scores haven’t risen enough, he or she is called a bad teacher. For college graduates who have other options, this kind of pressure, for such low pay, doesn’t make much sense. So every year 20 percent of teachers in urban districts quit. Nationwide, 46 percent of teachers quit before their fifth year. The turnover costs the United States $7.34 billion yearly. The effect within schools — especially those in urban communities where turnover is highest — is devastating.

But we can reverse course. In the next 10 years, over half of the nation’s nearly 3.2 million public school teachers will become eligible for retirement. Who will replace them? How do we attract and keep the best minds in the profession?

People talk about accountability, measurements, tenure, test scores and pay for performance. These questions are worthy of debate, but are secondary to recruiting and training teachers and treating them fairly. There is no silver bullet that will fix every last school in America, but until we solve the problem of teacher turnover, we don’t have a chance.

Can we do better? Can we generate “A Plan”? Of course.

The consulting firm McKinsey recently examined how we might attract and retain a talented teaching force. The study compared the treatment of teachers here and in the three countries that perform best on standardized tests: Finland, Singapore and South Korea.

Turns out these countries have an entirely different approach to the profession. First, the governments in these countries recruit top graduates to the profession. (We don’t.) In Finland and Singapore they pay for training. (We don’t.) In terms of purchasing power, South Korea pays teachers on average 250 percent of what we do.

And most of all, they trust their teachers. They are rightly seen as the solution, not the problem, and when improvement is needed, the school receives support and development, not punishment. Accordingly, turnover in these countries is startlingly low: In South Korea, it’s 1 percent per year. In Finland, it’s 2 percent. In Singapore, 3 percent.

McKinsey polled 900 top-tier American college students and found that 68 percent would consider teaching if salaries started at $65,000 and rose to a minimum of $150,000. Could we do this? If we’re committed to “winning the future,” we should. If any administration is capable of tackling this, it’s the current one. President Obama and Education Secretary Arne Duncan understand the centrality of teachers and have said that improving our education system begins and ends with great teachers. But world-class education costs money.

For those who say, “How do we pay for this?” — well, how are we paying for three concurrent wars? How did we pay for the interstate highway system? Or the bailout of the savings and loans in 1989 and that of the investment banks in 2008? How did we pay for the equally ambitious project of sending Americans to the moon? We had the vision and we had the will and we found a way.

Dave Eggers and Nínive Clements Calegari are founders of the 826 National tutoring centers and producers of the documentary “American Teacher.”

This article reminds me how we are always finding a balance as a parent in quality time mixed with personal time mixed with never ending guilt.

Stop Putting Your Kids First

It wasn't too many years ago that parents believed children should be "seen and not heard." Now they've become the center of our universe. But these have not been good years for the parents who hover over their kids' every thought and action and become slaves to their every desire. According to recent studies, college students who have helicopter parents were more likely to be neurotic and dependent, and are "the least happy with college and ... are doing less well academically and socially."

I can read the T-shirt now: "I spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on tutors, enrichment classes and Baby Einstein CDs and all I got was a neurotic kid."

But, forget about the poor kids -- Margaret K. Nelson, a sociology professor at Middlebury College and the author of Parenting Out of Control: Anxious Parents in Uncertain Times is much more worried about the parents -- specifically, the parents' marriage:


Working a demanding job while paying painstaking attention to one's children leaves little time for maintaining a marriage. A study by Robin Wilson of the Washington and Lee University School of Law reports that women with MBAs get divorced or separated more often than those who have only a bachelor's degree, while women with law or medical degrees are more likely to divorce or separate than their male counterparts.

Those kinds of statistics haven't gone unnoticed, so it's not surprising that there has been an increasingly vocal group challenging parents to change their ways, among them David Code, an Episcopal minister and family coach. In his 2009 book, Put Your Marriage Before Your Kids, Code writes, "To raise healthy kids, simply put your marriage first and your children second. For many of today's couples, the children are priority No. 1 one and marriage is priority No. 10 -- and few of us make it past the top three priorities on our daily to-do list."

Psychiatrist Michelle Goland agrees: "The mistake many moms make is they believe that if they are a good mother, their husband will be fine and he will understand, but in reality, the husband may feel pushed out of the parenting role and begrudgingly gives up trying to have a relationship with his wife."

Adds author and cognitive behaviorist Judith S. Beck, "Parents need not, and should not, sacrifice their needs (and some of their desires) for the sake of their children. They should be able to make decisions based on what is good for individual family members, including themselves, and what is good for the family as a whole."

It isn't necessarily easy for the moms who do that, however -- just ask author Ayelet Waldman, whose proclamation that she loves her husband, author Michael Chabon, more than their four kids caused such an outcry that she felt compelled to examine modern-day parenting in her book, Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities and Occasional Moments of Grace. Still, more and more parenting experts are encouraging parents to chill and refocus.

But what if you're divorced, as I am? What if you have no marriage to work on, no spouse to pamper and put first? What if there's just you? Can a divorced person put his or her needs first, before the kids?

I wouldn't want to admit to doing that too loudly at the next PTA gathering.

"Good" single parents are supposed to sacrifice for their kids, or so says single mom Shoshana Alexander, a founding editor of the Utne Reader. Researching for her book In Praise of Single Parents, she found that, "All of the successful single parents I interviewed ... had, early on, decided to make their children the central focus of their lives."

Somehow, that doesn't seem right -- or healthy.

Why would single parents have to go beyond the normal sacrifices that make up good parenting? A single mom who's frazzled trying to put her kids first isn't helping her kids; she's just making herself unhappy and unhealthy. And, as the saying goes, if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

But if single parents take care of our own needs, we're seen as selfish. Worse, we guilt-trip ourselves, believing that we're failing as a parent if we take time out for some personal indulgences, dating or even sex. It's worse if our kids don't see their other parent that much, or at all; it's easy to overcompensate while trying to take on the role of both parents. And so we fall into the single parent trap, forgetting that if we don't take care of ourselves, we turn into miserable, stressed-out, crappy parents.

I'd rather follow the advice of Kate Winslet, who says she started exercising post-divorce because "my way out of everything, has been really taking care of myself. I think that comes from an awareness that my children really need me, and they need me to be the healthiest version of myself that I can possibly be."

It's why airlines tell parents to put on their oxygen mask first before they assist their kids. You're not going to be much use to them if you pass out first.