Unexplained Behavior Issues of a Kid- Sleep problems

Is sleep hard for any of your kids? It was for my first born A. Since he was a baby he was difficult to put to sleep for the night. We had to wiggle and swing and jig for 30 minutes, you know, from Dr. Karp "Happiest Baby on the Block." (I did develop some great biceps though). Yes, I bought the book, the DVD and even paid to take a class with some certified in his technique. I figured my husband and I were just not doing things right. (On a good note, these techniques worked fine for my other boys and some of my friends).

We didn't look forward to our evening routine (I still wonder how we ended up with 3 children since out first born was so difficult). My husband and I would argue over who's turn it was to put the baby to sleep for the night. It did get easier to put him in bed around age 1 until he turned 2, until we put his baby brother in the room with him. At first it was great. Then A would get bored and wake the baby and try to get him to laugh and talk. The baby would eventually fall asleep, but A would not. (My husband and I figured we were to blame for his poor sleep habits because we had to bounce him around so much as a baby to get him to fall asleep. Now we know that was part of his "sensory craving" from his sensory processing disorder).

Our son  would stay up until 9pm, 10pm, and even 11pm and be back up between 5-6am the next morning. (The advice of letting our child stay up later so they would sleep in more does NOT apply to A). We would sit on the bed with him, put him on timeout in the hallway until he seemed to calm down, walk in to the bedroom every time he got up and put him back down (like we saw in SuperNanny). Nothing worked!

Bed time was a nightmare for us because his behavior in preschool was causing a lot of concern too and the only correlation we could find, at the time, was his lack of sleep. I would research online, talk to his doctor and therapist who said "just keep doing what you are doing and be consistent." Bottom line: Everyone assumed we were not consistent and believed if we continued to do what we said we were doing, things should get better. (Our moms stayed overnight during the week so we have proof we were consistent)!

When A was five we had the opportunity to move cities and we did! Better neighborhood, better house, better schools, parks galore, and a room for A to have to himself in the new home. This helped us because our other two younger children could share a room and A could be in his room where he wouldn't wake his brothers.

Then A decided that when mommy and daddy went to their bedroom to retire for the night, he would then explore the house and get into things he wasn't supposed to. Sigh...just when we thought things might get easier.

Next step was placing a child latch on his door to keep him in his room. We would then check on him every 30 minutes until he was asleep and then unlatch his door. (We wanted him to be able to leave his room in case of an emergency). We also attached child locks to the doors leading to the outside since we were afraid he may decide to leave the house one evening out of boredom.

Around the same time we were getting A diagnosed for ADHD (age 5) the doctor recommend melatonin after our concern with our sleep battle. I believe a combination of the gluten-free diet he was placed on, the work he was doing at Stowell Learning Center (teaching him to relax and how it feels to relax) and the melatonin have contributed to the change in his sleep behavior.

We don't use the child latch anymore (rarely), he doesn't take as much melatonin at night, and sometimes we forget and he doesn't take any at all, and he is usually asleep within 30 minutes of placing him in his room (unless he is wound up like any child after an exciting event).

Although my husband and I are still attentive to A's sleep at night (we are hard-wired to be alert after years of difficulty with A), we an now have more peace of mind knowing he is getting good sleep and not sneaking around the house at night. Of course, we still use the child locks on the outside doors, just to be safe. :)

Make a Schedule With Your Child

Make a Weekly Schedule

Planners and assignment sheets are something that many students resist during the school year.  It just seems like too much effort. 

But if you’re using a planner or calendar to schedule all of the fun things you want to do during the summer, it becomes a much more engaging and motivating activity.

 

Use a planner or calendar of appropriate size, sophistication, and media for your child’s age and skill level.

Work together to place lessons, outings, and vacations on the calendar/planner.  Schedule-in daily reading time, time designated for chores, sports practice, etc.

 

Talk about the calendar, asking your child, “What’s on your schedule for today?” 

When you need to schedule a dentist or doctor’s appointment, or even a time to go see a movie or a baseball game, have your child check his calendar to see where he can fit it in.

 

As you get close to school starting again, start brainstorming how your child will use his calendar or planner during the school year.

 

Have a great summer, from Stowell Learning Center

School is Over-How to Keep Up with Summer Reading

School is over - no more reading!
It can be a grand and glorious feeling for students who struggle with reading.  Of course there are others who can't wait for school to be out so that they can do nothing but read all summer!

If your child struggles with reading, let's not make this torture.  At the same time, let's not ignore emerging reading skills.   Below are just a few suggestions for getting started with summer reading.

Here are some tips from Stowell Learning Center. 

 

 

  

Getting started with summer reading:

Research tells us that simple reading practice during the summer makes a big difference in preventing the loss of reading skills.

• To improve reading skills, children need access to books of interest that match their skill level. Again, they've got to read stuff that they LIKE...that they are really interested in! And it needs to be at their skill level.
  
  
• Teach your child how to use the "Five-Finger Rule" to guide the difficulty level of their book choice.
  
  Have your child read about 100 words in a book and raise one finger for every word they can't read. If they raise more than five fingers, the book is probably too hard.
  
  
• Involvement with an adult (parent, relative, neighbor, babysitter, family friend) that can help guide the child's reading and understanding, makes a significant and positive difference. Get someone involved with your child to help him or her read. Maybe that's someone who is a fan of the topic your child is reading about.
  
  Make it a special time to get to read with someone special.
  
  
• To improve visual processing speed and help with reading, play a game called "Needle in a Haystack."
  
  Take a page from a newspaper or magazine and time your child as s/he circles all the occurrences of a specific letter, letter pattern or word. Make it a contest with a great reward for the winner!

These few things can make reading not only happen, but also be an enjoyable part of the summer.

School and Spring Fever

I even get spring fever as a teacher and work hard to stay focused in my classroom to make sure students finish the year out successfully. Here are some tips from Stowell Learning Center for parents and working through spring fever.

It's right around the corner...everyone knows it...especially your student...

Summer Vacation!

 

Sun, fun, sleepovers, camping trips, staying up late and sleeping in late...it's no wonder our kids are anxious this time of year!  Even I'm getting distracted thinking about summer vacation!

 

And while this anxiety is the positive kind, it can still be a distraction in school and certainly during homework.

 

But if you still have some more school days, how do you help your child stay "in the game" until school actually ends?

 

It's really not difficult to help your child stay in their "learning mode" until school is out, but it does take some planning on your part.

 

Homework Tips

Homework Problem:
Spring Fever

While the term Spring Fever seems to have come from the Colonial times to describe the symptoms of scurvy, it has taken on a meaning that now means the excitement and giddiness that comes with more sun, longer days, and warmer weather. All of which can cause distraction issues in your student.

Take heart in knowing, however, that it also means that your student will be happier due to the higher level of the mood-elevating neurotransmitter Serotonin. Serotonin is our body's naturally "happy chemical!"

 

Homework Solution:
4 Steps to "Staying Cool"

 

Now is the time to capitalize on your student's increased positive mood and renewed energy to help keep them on track for a strong academic finish.  Here are four ways to do just that:

1. Communicate with the teachers.  Reach out to your child's teacher with a phone call or email.  Keep this contact brief and positive even if they have less than positive news for you (including late or missing assignments). 
   
   Acknowledge that you understand how difficult it must be to motivate a classroom full of youngsters this time of year and assure them that you are willing to do whatever you need to do to make their job easier.
   
   
2. Find new goals to set with your child.  This should include short term goals for finishing their year strongly AND longer term incentives that give them a treat when they do finish strong. 
   
   Again, keep it positive and focused on their needs.  Goals should include homework, schoolwork, behavior and organization all the way up to the last day of school.
   
   
3. Encourage, Encourage, Encourage.  We know how difficult it is to be positive when your child is doing less than their best in school.  So remember to remain calm, avoid lecture, listen to your child, be patient, provide positive options and remind them that they CAN do it!
   
   
4. "Pay the piper" when needed.  As adults, we don't like failure and we certainly don't like to see our children fail when we can help them!  Sometimes, however, failure is exactly what they need to LEARN! 
   
   Allowing your child to bear the natural consequences of their decisions is a healthy way for them to learn from their mistakes.  And there will be other opportunities for them to succeed!

My journey with my son ADHD, ODD, Sensory Integration & the Unexplained Behavior Issues of a Kid

This is a post that will be continued and updated, so let's start simply with the beginning of our journey. Not an easy thing to write and reflect on as we are still a work in progress. 

From ages 2-5 with constant problems in preschool. We are teachers, well read, and cannot figure out what is going on with our child. He doesn't act Autistic, appears ADHD, but has lots of other issues that were not explainable so we ruled out ADHD. My doctor, friends and family wrote it off as "he's too smart," "he's not being challenged," "the preschool isn't doing their job," and "you are great parents." However, despite being "great" we couldn't shake the feeling that there was something wrong with our son. We explored different programs, read websites and blogs, read books, attended counseling, and the like. Nothing worked for long. If any of this sounds familiar to you, you are not alone. A friend pointed out it wasn't behavioral and that is why all the behavioral programs didn't work, even the infamous Nurtured Heart program which I loved. Our sons problems stemmed from misfiring neurons in the brain; and they were right.

Behaviors:
run and bolt frequently
run under table to hide
cover his ears
yell and scream during music
have difficult behaviors in structured classroom environment
randomly hit a kid for no reason
Couldn't fall asleep for hours after bedtime
Defiant
hitting and biting when he didn't get his way
didn't transition well
had difficulty making and keeping friends 
loved to run, crash, jump, and fall down
high pain tolerance
couldn't transition in class
argue with adults-always had to be his way
didn't take naps in preschool and wouldn't be still on cot during quiet time

Diagnosis after pushing, gathering evidence, and requesting more testing:
ADHD
ODD (oppositional defience disorder)
Sensory Integration Disorder

When asked which of these 3 stands out as the main issue, the answer is Sensory Integration Disorder. So much of the behavior listed above is tied his sensory issues, which also causes symptoms that look like ADHD (although ADHD can be a separate factor too).

Current Treatment: Age 5
Low dose of medicine (extreme mommy guilt when we started this)
Occupational Therapy (through Kaiser)
Music Therapy (Advancedbraintechnology) (through Stowell Learning Center)
QRI (Quantum Reflex Integration) (through Stowell Learning Center)
CORE learning skills (through Stowell Learning Center)
Gluten free (decreased behavior problems even though he does not have Celiac's disease)
No red and yellow food dye- high link to ADHD behavior
Counseling as needed (through Kaiser)
Now testing my middle child since he has similar issues with sensory and ADHD
Headphones as needed to reduce sound (through school and home)
Weighted vest as needed to sensory needs (through school and home)

Changes in Behavior:
No more bolting
Doesn't hide under desk
Doesn't scream and yell with music (still covers ears)
Has several friends at school
Met all his goals for his IEP early so we are revising them again
Doesn't argue as much with adults
Doesn't randomly hit people
Transitions faster and better than before
Falls asleep 30 minutes after being put to bed

I wrote to all his previous preschools, even the one he was kicked out of, to let them know of his diagnosis and thank them for their feedback. They were all supportive and glad to hear my son is doing better. Our journey is far from over, but for the first time, my husband and I see hope and  light at the end of the tunnel. Our hearts are still tender and we still tense up when we get calls from school, but they are rarely about behavior now. We have been accustomed to expect the worse, but we are in this through thick and thin and have a strong family network to support our journey. I would never have believed we would have come so far in a year because I thought, nothing was going to change, no one understands, everyone is going to think we are crazy, and we would forever be "that family who doesn't know how to raise kids." Thanks for reading. I hope it brings you some peace if you are struggling with the same unexplained behaviors as we did/are.

Different Tools for Focusing During Homework

 Stowell Learning Center offers tools for focusing during homework.

We're getting to that time of year when 2 important things are happening:

 

1. There are more distractions and disruptions than any other time of the year
   
   
2. There are more fun, outside-of-school activities.

Both of these factors work against kids wanting to sit and do homework.  Getting their bodies to keep still and stop moving does NOT mean their minds are really focused on getting homework done.

 

Below you'll find a couple of ideas to help get kids "zero in" on their homework, despite the number of "more interesting" things that might be on their minds.

 

Remember, these are young, immature minds (yes, even the teenagers).  Just telling them to do things isn't always enough.

 

Here's to having the best school year ever,

 

 

Make it Fun, Physical, or Novel

Having trouble keeping "on task" and focused on their homework?  Here's what one mom told us:

 

At eight years old, my son was an excellent hockey player and a pretty good reader.  But when we studied his sight word flashcards, he'd get very upset if he didn't get the words right.

 

To make practicing the flashcards more fun, and help him lighten up a bit, we made a big deal of throwing all of the words he missed into the "penalty box."  (Actually, I just tossed them over my shoulder and made a lot of noise).

 

But it made him laugh and gave us the opportunity to practice the words again when they "came out of the penalty box."

 

Kids love to be silly or do things in a different way.  If homework is becoming drudgery, try making it fun, physical, or different.  There are LOTS of ways to do this...Let your imagination run wild.  Here are 3 suggestions:

• When studying spelling or math facts, try using a white board or sidewalk chalk on the cement to make it different and fun.
  
  
• Set up little contests - "You got 3 right all by yourself in this row.  Do you think you can beat your score on the next row?" "You finished this section in 6 minutes.  Do you think you can beat your time on your time on the next section?"
  
  
• Act out ideas, characters, plots or events to help with understanding and remembering information.

By making it more fun, playful, or physical ( or all three!) students are more willing to get their work done, especially during this time of the school year.

Graph paper to the Rescue for Learning Math

Graph paper to the Rescue for Learning Math

For some students, math is a BREEZE!  They just seem to "get it."  (Others struggle until you put a $ next to the numbers and then they seem to get it.)

But for some kids, it is a constant struggle.

There are many reasons for math struggles.

Below, I'll share with you a simple technique that will help students get their numbers organized on the page.  While it won't solve every math difficulty, it will at least give you a "fighting chance" to get the answer correct. A helpful tip for Stowell Learning Center.

 

 

Graph Paper to the Rescue!

Many students struggle with math because they simply don't understand or can't manage the organization of the numbers on the page.

In math calculations, there is a very specific place where each number belongs in a problem.  When numbers get shifted to the wrong column, errors and confusion occur.

When numbers are in the wrong column or wrong place in a problem, the problem must be redone.

If you're frequently the bearer of this bad news, you know how frustrated and angry a child can get when he has to constantly "re-do" a problem he feels he already completed.

Graph paper provides a simple solution.  It comes in all different sized squares to accommodate a student's graphomotor (writing) needs and maturity. 

Teach your child how to put one number in each square and help him notice how the numbers all line up.  Graph paper can turn a math disaster into an organized, easy-to-look-at, and more correct math paper.

 

Studying for Tests with Coloring Books, why not try it

Studying for Tests with Coloring Books, why not try it? Great for memorizing anatomy, geography, maps, physiology, vocabulary, graphs and charts. Tip from Stowell Learning Center.

Studying for tests can be boring.  Boring, boring, boring.

And when it gets boring, it's much harder to remember what was studied.

The exercise below is sure to make it easier for your child to remember more of what he's studying.  And it makes it more fun.  It is anything but boring!

BEWARE - At first this might seem a little juvenile.  But just know that college and graduate level students are now using the techniques.

Give this technique a try and watch as memory expands...seemingly without effort!

 

 Some of my students find it helpful to write or unerline their vocabulary words with different colors. When we studied the pathway of the heart in my class, I used different colors to represent different parts of the heart and the pathway. Students always ace this part of the test :)

 

 

Coloring Books as a Memory and Test Study Tool

Studying for tests and remembering important facts (such as the muscles in the body, the parts of a cell or plant, the location and shape of the states) can feel like endless (and pointless) memorization to students if they don't have a good mental picture of what the words they are studying connect to.

Try using coloring books to

• Make studying more interesting
• Add understanding to vocabulary and content
• Increase retention

• One innovative student took this idea even further.  When studying various organs in the body, she laid down on a giant piece of paper and had her friend trace around her.  Then
• they drew in and orally labeled all of the organs that would be on their test.  The girls had a lot of fun while studying productively for their test!  
• Another student memorized the states and their location by remembering each state and the color it was on the puzzle map. 
• What things would be easier to remember in color?  What kind of coloring book or sheet could you make that would help you remember?  Without too much extra effort, your student can begin remembering things more easily without it feeling like a lot of extra work.